We live, we love, we strive

Time flies. It’s been 45 days since I stepped into this new leadership position. While exciting, the experience has been a whirlwind of logistics, decision-making, and moments of doubt.

As the first employee in my region, I’ve had to build everything from the ground up: purchasing equipment, setting up office infrastructure, coordinating hires, and more.

It’s empowering to lay the foundation for a new office, but the weight of the decisions, especially in hiring, feels monumental. The first few hires will shape our culture, and the stakes couldn’t be higher. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a say in hiring our first channel manager. Despite voicing concerns about his remote location for a role that demands facetime and collaboration, the decision was pushed through by senior leadership.

I can’t help but wonder: Will this decision come back to bite me?

The Lingering Voice of Doubt

Amid these challenges, I often hear a small, persistent voice whispering: “Do I deserve this? Am I capable enough?”

Stepping into a leadership role is both a validation of past achievements and an invitation for self-doubt to creep in. Despite a track record that’s earned me this position, I find myself overthinking every decision and questioning whether I’m equipped to handle the responsibility.

These feelings of imposter syndrome are not new for me. If you’ve read my previous reflections, you’ll know it’s a recurring theme in my personal development journey, even thought I know over-analysing is not going to help.

Seeking Clarity Amid Ambiguity

The ambiguity of my role has exacerbated my doubts. When I pressed my manager, the CSO, for clearer direction, his response was, “Your job is to grow the business and hit revenue targets. Isn’t that clear?”

Simple enough on paper, but the reality is far more complex. The foundations for achieving those targets aren’t solid, and I’ve proposed several changes to our channel ecosystem and strategies. I’ve even revisited the slide deck I presented during my interview to align expectations.

Yet, our discussions sometimes feel misaligned. When I shifted focus to a larger market with an aspiring partner in the region, I was questioned, Why the change?”

Strategy, in my view, should be adaptable to new data and market realities. Moreover, to develop a market, the partner is important (if we are doing a partner-led model). But the resistance I face leaves me questioning whether I’m trusted to make the decisions I was hired to lead. This lack of alignment doesn’t just challenge my ideas – it fuels my self-doubt.

The constant need for them wanting to send people from overseas, primarily to fully utilise the rented apartments here, isn’t helping much either. Despite constantly requesting for product-related people to visit our key customers, we have people from marketing and channels to visit, and going weekend holidays with their families…

Navigating Self-Doubt as a Leader

As I grapple with these challenges, I’ve realized that imposter syndrome is not something to be eradicated overnight. Instead, it’s a voice to manage emotions and logical approach.

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about navigating uncertainty with resilience. Imposter syndrome may always linger, but it doesn’t have to define us. By focusing on growth, authenticity, and the support of trusted allies, we can transform self-doubt into a driving force for improvement.

What are your strategies for managing imposter syndrome?