As the year is coming to a close, many of us find our social media feeds awash with reflections, achievements, and milestones. For some, these posts radiate joy and accomplishment. Yet, for others, the most significant achievement might simply be survival.
At first glance, this might not feel productive or inspiring. But let’s take a moment to acknowledge this resilience. Surviving is no small feat either. As the year ends, extend yourself the grace of a quiet pat on the back. After all, things could have been worse isn’t it?
Regrets
When we look back on the year, we might feel bad about things we did or didn’t do. You’ve probably heard people say, “No regrets!” a lot lately. It’s a way of saying we should try everything and never hold back. That can be fun, but not everyone feels comfortable rushing into things. If you’re like me, you probably like to think things through first.
I read a book titled The Power of Regret by Daniel Pink, and it helped me see regret in a new way. Pink says regret isn’t a bad thing. It can actually help us learn and grow. He talks about four types of regret:
- Foundational Regret: Wishing you had done something to build a better future, like saving money or studying more
- Boldness Regret: Wishing you had taken a chance, like starting a business or speaking up
- Moral Regret: Feeling bad about doing something wrong, like lying or hurting someone
- Connection Regret: Wishing you had stayed closer to people who mattered to you
These regrets might feel heavy, but they can also show us what’s really important. By thinking about them, we can make better choices going forward.
Learning from Regrets
Many people want to keep moving forward without looking back. They say things like, “One step forward, two steps back” to show they don’t want to lose progress. But Steve Jobs, in a famous speech, said something different:
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” – Steve Jobs
This means looking back can help us understand where we’ve been and where we want to go. It’s not about getting stuck in the past but rather, it’s about learning from it.
Handling Regrets
Daniel Pink also shared some helpful ways to deal with regret:
- Fix it if you can: Say sorry, make things right, or ask for forgiveness. Even if the other person doesn’t accept it, you’ll feel better for trying and it serves you well.
- Say, “At least…”: Find something good in the situation. For example, if you missed a chance, think, “At least I learned something from it.”
- Know what’s enough: Decide what makes you happy without overthinking every choice. Pick what works best and move on.
Personally, “at least…” really helps me focus on the good things instead of staying upset about what went wrong.
Another idea is to write about your regrets.
Keeping a journal can turn your regrets into lessons. It’s like creating a story of how you’re growing and improving. At the end of the year, you can also check your old New Year’s resolutions – Which ones still mean something to you? Use those feelings to make better goals for next year.
I shall start…
| 2023 Goals | 2024 Regrets and “At Least” | 2025 Goals |
|---|---|---|
| Land a managerial role with ability to build up my sales and cross-functional team, and lead them towards high performance | Not able to build up a team based on my aspirations and lead them, but at least I got to hire cross-functional members and taking part in the process | Be better at communicating, bolder in aspirations and assertive in negotiating for my career. Land a role that supports me in these endeavours |
| Pick up a new language (Korean) and be able to converse with a local | Not able to converse spontaneously and got distracted with Japanese learning due to trip to Japan. At least I got to attend Korean classes, can read the characters and converse in basic for ordering food. | Believe in myself more to pick up a foreign language and practise consistently with a routine. Book a trip to Korea and be prepared to only converse in Korean. |
| Renovate my place to a Japandi style that brings joy and comfort every time I am home | Not willing to spend on the renovation due to logistics and budget concerns. At least I still feel the comfort and joy from my current partial renovation. | Find a place that fits my crieteria of location, space and budget. Be firm on my requirements and be more generous in renovating to a timeless style I want without compromise. |
Other goals include elevating my mindfulness journey, and build up side hustles to have multiple streams of income.
Parting Thoughts
As 2024 ends, take time to reflect. Celebrate what you’ve done, even if it’s just surviving. Think about your regrets and what they’ve taught you. I’ve started my own reflections, and I’d love for you to join in. Let’s look forward to a brighter 2025, together.
We live, we love, we strive 
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