We live, we love, we strive

In the darker corners of our hearts lie the whispers of self-doubt and uncertainty, shrouded in the shadows of multiple insecurities, battling in silence and hidden behind the brave smiles we wear in the face of others. This struggle is real and universal, with no distinction of age, race, or creed. But amid this darkness, a glimmer of hope emerges, illuminating a path forward—a path adorned with the profound mantra: “Fake it till you make it.”

On the surface, this phrase offers a lifeline. It suggests that we can project confidence to navigate unfamiliar challenges, masking our fears until competence emerges. But is it an empowering strategy or a dangerous facade?

A Case That Challenges Perception

Recently, a former Manager announced his participation in a “sales leadership” panel discussion. The announcement raised eyebrows for three reasons:

• He had recently been laid off and publicly lamented the unfairness of it, listing his achievements in a way that felt more self-serving than reflective
• His professional profiles still claimed he was the “Head of Sales” at the company that let him go
• Despite years in leadership, his contributions appeared to rely heavily on the work of others rather than demonstrating authentic leadership

While I understand the pressure to maintain appearances during uncertain times, especially in today’s job market, where layoffs seem as common as flu outbreaks, this scenario felt less like resilience and more like deception.

The problem runs deeper.

In my career, I’ve seen leaders parachuted into roles through nepotism or internal politics, riding the coattails of their teams’ efforts while evading accountability for failures. Instead of inspiring growth, they leaned on superficial charm, request hirees to have a “growth mindset” instead of adopting one, carefully curated personas, and real strategic or performative leadership.

This left me questioning: Is the world increasingly built on such disguised realities?

The Double-Edged Sword of Pretense

The idea of “fake it till you make it” isn’t inherently flawed. Many high achievers admit to experiencing imposter syndrome with a feeling of being out of place despite their qualifications, and use this mantra as a coping mechanism. In fact, psychology research shows that acting “as if” can sometimes help rewire the brain to build genuine confidence.

Another critical insight was when we adopt an “alter-ego”, also heroically known as “The Batman Effect”. This practise allows us to feel more empowered, more confidence.

But there’s a critical distinction between projecting potential and pretending expertise. The former is about stepping into new roles with humility and a willingness to learn. The latter, however, risks eroding trust, both within oneself and among peers.

As leadership expert Dr. Brené Brown emphasizes in her work on vulnerability, true growth stems from authenticity, not perfection. “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen,” she notes.

Perhaps “fake it till you make it” is not merely an act of deception but a transformative journey. Everyone wears their masks, hiding their fears and doubts in plain sight. We share a collective desire for growth, for the realization of our potential. But what comes of the emergence of our potential when the seed of growth is based on pretense? Is it really growth? Or it is just plain survival?

The Pitfalls of Pretending

While a degree of pretense might help you take the first step, living behind a facade is unsustainable. We end up losing part of true selves. Over time, it can lead to burnout, imposter syndrome, and the erosion of trust.

Imagine donning a mask so often that you forget who you are without it. The cost of prolonged “faking” isn’t just professional, it gets personal. Research shows that authenticity is a key driver of workplace engagement and individual well-being. But does the corporate world accept it as it is? Or it depends on how well your superiors accept it, to balance with performance of the firm?

Go Beyond “Fake It”

True transformation occurs when we embrace discomfort as part of growth. It’s not about denying fear but about facing it with integrity. The courage to acknowledge shortcomings, paired with the resolve to improve, builds not just professional credibility but personal fulfillment.

In a world where appearances often take precedence, let’s strive for substance. The real challenge isn’t in “faking it” but in staying true to ourselves while reaching for more.

After all, masks may help us navigate the unknown, but it’s authenticity that allows us to thrive in the long term. It is not an easy journey and we may seek recognition in terms of feedback during this period. I just hope everyone gets a fair and honest one, that allows them to thrive eventually.